James and I traveled to L.A. a couple of weeks ago to attend a workshop (sexpassionandenlightenment.com) that forever changed the way we see relationship. We are integrating our learning and experience from that workshop into our next workshop August 2nd. This one-day workshop will be the juiciest and most solid we’ve given yet.

This will be the grand finale. It is the last one we are doing together. We are each simplifying our work lives and prioritizing our personal lives by focusing on our individual businesses rather than juggling 2 each.

If you haven’t attending our one-day workshop, don’t miss this opportunity. Visit http://happilyevernow.com/1_Day_Workshop.html to learn more or to register. To guarantee we impact as many people as possible with this final workshop, we are offering a 50% discount and some valuable gifts to support participants. E-mail or call me for the code. 415-887-4208, info(at)happilyevernow.com

I met someone at a hostel in France and then saw them walk by as I was napping in a park in Venice 2 weeks later. I completed days of travel with a newly-made traveling buddy from the Bronx. As soon as we parted, I met another person on the bus who I traveled with for the next 2 days who had a friend with a hotel in the next town I was headed to.

It was a sort of ‘travel-flow.’ How come that doesn’t work in day-to-day life?

What if it can?

I asked myself, what is it that I have when I’m traveling that I don’t have in my day-to-day life? I thought of a few things…lots of time with little or no schedule, relaxation, surrender, and an intention to have fun, explore and an openness to adventure.

What if cultivating more synchronicity in your life is as simple as the following ideas:

-taking a different street than usual to a destination you commonly visit

-instead of your usual mocha with no whip cream, try a chai

-exercise at a different time of day or find a way to spice it up

-respond different than normal to a friend just to see what happens

-meander randomly and see what you find

-go early to an event and see who you’ll meet

-insert your ideas here

When there’s spaciousness, you are opening opportunity for miraculous surprises. Enjoy!

Below is a powerful method of communication to help clear out anything that may unconcsiously oooooze out before you dive in to the issue(s) at hand.
This teaching comes from from Thich Naht Hahn and it goes like this-

Sit comfortably side by side or facing each other directly (with nothing between you). One person at a time does the following:

1. Share 3 acknowledgements of the other person

2. Say 3 ways you are personally responsible for the situation

3. Share what is left

Another way(that can be combined with the way above) is to speak in 3rd person. For example, when I share with Sharon, I would be saying “When Sharon does…., I….”

One other thought as a way to start a conversation–see if the starting point can be each person describing where they think the other person is.  Basically an empathy exercise, and each person goes until the other person feels satisfied with the level of understanding the other has.

Let me know how it goes. jen@happilyevernow.com

Then, this weekend, at a workshop called Sex, Passion & Enlightenment, I learned something that has changed my relationship to the past and the present forever.

When you are in the moment, which is always where you are, you can choose love. If you are stretching your capacity to love, to receive, to give, stuff may come up from the past. You may have flashbacks of fear, you may feel closed off, but you can still choose love.

How you ask? Right now, choose love. Love your computer. Love the pen on your desk. Love your cell phone. Think of someone or a pet you love and allow that love to fill you.

Take a deep breath.

Now, choose love.

P.S. To receive a scholarship to a 4 hour Sex, Passion & Enlightenment workshop visit this link then use this code: 724782. E-mail me with your postal address and I’ll send you the physical ticket you’ll need to get it. Don’t do it unless you are ready to transform the way you see relationship forever.

I only bought one ticket because that’s all it takes to win. As the woman with the bucket put the ticket in my hand, my friend Sharon said, “Jen’s lucky. She’s going to win.” I thought to myself, “Cool, more than one person is wanting me to win. I have Sharon’s good ju-ju working for me to. I am going to win.”

As they were calling out the number for the $75 cash, I reached into my pocket to pull out my ticket. I couldn’t find it. Darn, I thought, it’s these shallow pockets in these dress pants. Then I remembered I put it in my back pocket so I wouldn’t loose it. I found it.

The first number they called out for the winning ticket was an 8. My ticket number began with a 2.

My friend Sharon won.

Want for others what you want for yourself.

Tiger got up, ran in front of me, meowed loudly and basically corralled me. This he has never done before. I asked him what was up and he meowed again emphatically and maintained his ground. I started to walk around him and he jumped up and smacked his paw toward me.

Maybe I wasn’t done meditating afterall. So, I took a few steps back, closed my eyes, took a few moments to seal my connection with the Divine and took a few breaths. I felt clearer and more grounded. Then I mindfully walked toward my house and Tiger skipped along beside me down the hill.

Ho’oponopono is a Hawaiian ‘system.’ It’s a teaching and it’s a healing process. Wikipedia defines it as “mental cleansing.”

Dr. Hew Len defines it in Zero Limits like this:

The Updated Ho’oponopono, is a process of repentance, forgiveness, and transmutations, is a petition to Love to void and replace toxic energies with its self. Love accomplishes this by flowing through the mind, beginning with the spiritual mind, the super conscious. It then continues its flow through the intellectual mind, the conscious mind, freeing it of thinking energies. Finally, it moves into the emotional mind, the subconscious, voiding thoughts of toxic emotions and filling them with itself. p. 67

I’ve been using it this week more than I ever imagined I might need to. Anytime I feel uncomfortable, jealous, judgmental, angry, or bitter, I do the practice. I say the following to the part of me that is creating the experience: I love you. I’m sorry. Forgive me. Thank you. I do this slowly. And I breathe while I’m doing it.

And tonight I was sitting at the dinner table with my partner James and I noticed myself feeling fear about some little detail not being perfect on the table. I realized that my fear of things not being perfect is really a fear of being punished. And while this might stem from corporal punishment in my home growing up and in my school (I grew up in rural Tennessee), now that fear is projected on god.

My perfectionism is about my fear of the wrath of god.

To the part of me that creates my god as a judgmental, wrathful big white guy in the sky, I love you. I’m sorry. Forgive me. Thank you. Thank you for showing me that I create my god. God is in me. After 11 years of releasing my Southern Baptist faith, I’m still a recovering Christian.

I admit that I get a kick out of organizing, but there are things in life I’d rather be doing, like spending time outdoors or reading. What I find is that when I’m organized I spend less energy stressing about what I’m not doing and I have more time to do the things I love. When you start doing what you say you will, it feels good. So, how do you get inspired?

If you are trying to make yourself do it and that’s not working (it rarely does), and you still have a desire to get it together, remember the reason why you really want to get organized. What is one thing that you have been ‘meaning to do?’ Instead of stressing about not doing it, schedule time for it a few weeks out when you have space for it. Later is better than never. The energy you save by having it scheduled rather than judging yourself may be enough to do something else you love!

Maybe it’s because I just spent 3 days with late nights completing my ebook Happily Ever Now for Your Love Life. I found myself at the computer working last night at 9:00pm after a 90 minute teleseminar wanting to cry just from the sight of my computer. I was exhausted.

Despite all of this, I still found it challenging to “BACK AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER!” This is a phrase that was popularized when I lived with 2 other entrepreneurs.

What happens if you don’t take time off?

1. Your productivity sinks and you putz around because your brain needs a break from linear thinking.
2. You are so emotionally disturbed that you created drama with your computer (or with people.)
3. Your body hurts and your vitality decreases. (a.k.a. You feel like crap.)
4. Your relationships suffer because your relationship with yourself is abusive.
5. Your stress level increases so much that when you do take a break, you fall apart.

How to BACK AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER!

1. Use a timer. This is a tip from my friend Sharla Jacobs. You focus solidly during work on one project and then, when the timer speaks, you stop. You can use the timer for your break as well.
2. Commit to one 30-60 minute fun break every day. Could be hanging out with a friend, walking, dancing, taking a bath, etc.
3. Schedule time for eating. This also means scheduling time for traveling to and from eating or prep and clean up time. If you’re one who forgets to eat, be sure to remind yourself with an alarm or the accountability of a lunch date.
4. Have a check-in/accountability buddy with another entrepreneur or colleague. Use this to focus your priorities, acknowledge what you accomplish, share how you are nurturing your life outside of work and good old joy from connecting with another.
5. Commit to a minimum of a certain number of days or half days off per week or per month.
6. When you find yourself putzing around and being unproductive, BACK AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER!
7. Recognize that the things you are committed to doing for work will get done more efficiently when all of you is taken care of and completely in the moment.

You have your own preferences, quirks and habits. Take one step and try it for a week.

No one I know has Happily Ever After. That’s the last page of the book, the last screen shot of the movie, and it’s the end of the story. That’s Hollywood. What about the rest of their lives? How about some reality please?

That fairy-tale image leaves out important ingredients that support a relationship to grow in love and strength. I’ve learned that I can use moments of doubt, challenge, and emotional upheaval to create more connection. These are signs that the relationship is going deeper and as it does, old issues that were buried down deep come to the surface to clear out. This makes room for more expansive experiences of love and ecstasy.

When you know how to deal with the stuff coming to the surface, it makes the process of expansion a lot easier. In this book, you will learn exercises to support you in clearing out old emotional stuff so you are clearer and more open. You will also increase your awareness of what your ‘buttons’ and patterns are in relationship so you can move toward responding to them consciously rather than reacting out of fear or habit.

This new awareness will support you in preparing for a new kind of relationship or approaching your current relationship with more love, clarity and a greater sense of self.

To learn tools, practices and skills to support you to move through times of challenge in relationship and come out the other side more deeply connected; I invite you to attend a Happily Ever Now workshop. James & I offer workshops as a way to share the “how to” that helps us ride the roller coaster adventure of conscious relationship.

The idea of wanting our relationship to be like it was when we first started dating is not appealing because it is now so much more alive, deep, and passionate than it has ever been. How would you like to experience a relationship that gets better and better through every joy and every challenge?

This is not a Happily Ever After picture. I’m not saying you’ll be happy all the time. I am saying that it is possible to consciously create your relationship and ride the waves of the ups and downs.

You deserve a relationship beyond your dreams that transcends the elusive myth of Happily Ever After!